The Divine Comedy: Why your Higher Self has questionable taste in life experiences

How I learned to stop blaming the universe and start questioning my Pre-Birth decisions.

I was cleaning out old boxes recently and found my high school journal, complete with notes from friends predicting where we'd all be in 20 years. Guess what? While we're all happy with our lives, most of us ended up embracing completely different paths. The one who wanted to study law and pass the bar? She practiced for 5 years, then bought a farm in rural France. We were all convinced another friend would win the US Open - instead, she opened a restaurant. I heard the one I used to pay to do my math homework is now a yoga teacher in Australia.

Many saw me embracing an international political career. To be honest, I had serious dictator and debating skills (I'll say enlightened), but it took Nicolas Cage, Jared Leto and Ethan Hawke in "Lord of War" to realize that maybe corporate life would be better for everyone involved. So instead, I was en route to take over the world through glass ceiling breaking when I became a mother a month after my 21st birthday.

I was going to climb corporate ladders and prove that women could have it all. If you'd told my driven teenage self that happiness would one day mean finding peace in everyday moments, grasping gratitude like a lifeline, I would have thought you were describing someone else's life entirely.

Don't get me wrong - I have never regretted being a young mother. It was not always easy, but truly a blessing. But after closing my journal, I started reflecting on destiny: How much is set in stone and to what extent do we have free will?

So many times I thought I was on the wrong path because this wasn't the plan. Every decision became about getting back to "the right path," but every time I thought I was making progress, something interrupted the flow. I spent hours wondering what I had done wrong, what was wrong with me?

Then I tackled the situation from another angle:

• I got pregnant 5 months after being told I would never be a mother following a medical operation

• Having my son brought me profound joy and growth, teaching me about myself and life in ways I never expected

So how could something this positive be a hurdle? That's when it hit me: maybe I wasn't off-track at all. Maybe I was exactly where I needed to be.

If you've already read some of my adventures, you already know that I dove into an unreasonable amount of Near Death Experience testimonials (don't judge me, it's fascinating). What I discovered completely flipped my understanding of how life actually works.

According to many NDErs, we're not just wandering around hoping some cosmic casting director notices our talent and gives us the role we've been preparing for. Plot twist: We ARE part of the casting team.

Before we incarnate, we apparently sit down with our spiritual team and our soul family to plan out our earthly experience like a pre-production meeting if you will. We choose our lessons, cast our supporting characters, and even audition other souls for specific roles in our story.

I know I've simplified this enormously (I'm a newbie in this sphere), but here's what hit me: if this is true, then every person who enters our life has essentially signed a spiritual contract to play their part in our mutual growth.

This means that every soul I've encountered - from my beautiful son to the UCOS (Undiagnosed Children of Satan) I've met along the way - were all carefully cast for their roles.

Yes, UCOS. You know exactly who I'm talking about. Those people who seem to exist solely to create chaos and test your sanity. The toxic boss, the manipulative friend, the partner who could gaslight a lighthouse. We've all met them.

The Hard Truth About Soul Contracts

Let's talk about the part that'll make you want to throw your phone across the room.

According to these NDEs, we don't just choose our loved ones. We choose ALL of it. Including the UCOS. Yes, even the abusive ones.

I'm not comfortable with this concept when I think about people who've suffered unimaginable atrocities. And honestly? I probably never will be. When it comes to my family, I clearly didn't choose the "tribe and tribulations" package, so this is easier for me to accept than it might be for some of you.

But I've watched testimonials of people with horrific childhoods who, during their NDEs, suddenly understood why their souls chose those experiences. Not because they deserved abuse. But because sometimes souls choose the hardest paths to break generational curses, develop impossible strength, or learn to love themselves when no one else will.

It doesn't make abuse okay. It never will.

But maybe - just maybe - it means some souls are warriors who sign up for the battles the rest of us couldn't handle.

Here's what I know for sure: you've met your fair share of UCOS. That school bully who crushed your confidence? The boss who made you question your worth? The friend who stabbed you in the back when you needed them most?

What if - and stay with me here - what if they were perfectly cast for your story?

Try this exercise: Take a piece of paper. Draw three columns: People, Impact (positive and negative), What They Changed in Me (positive and negative).

Do it. Right now. I'll wait.

Done? Good. Now here's the punch in the gut: Some of those people are STILL controlling your life, aren't they?

If you don't trust people because Becky with the good hair betrayed you in high school, congratulations - you just gave Becky permanent real estate in every future relationship. If you shrink in meetings because your toxic boss convinced you that you're incompetent, guess what? They're still your boss, even though you quit three jobs ago.

Here's your choice: Keep letting these people puppet your decisions from the grave of your past, or recognize that maybe - just maybe - they showed up to teach you something you desperately needed to learn.

Like boundaries. Like self-worth. Like the difference between being careful and being paralyzed by fear.

Soul contracts or not, the question remains the same: Are you going to let your UCOS keep writing your story, or are you finally ready to pick up the pen?

Picking up the pen, that's the lesson you were supposed to learn, the upgrade you needed.

Now you might be wondering: if we made all these contracts and chose our lessons, why don't we remember any of it?

Simple: because we'd find a way to cheat the system. It's human nature.

We'd be like students who copy-paste ChatGPT content without reading and understanding it. They might get through the assignment, but they completely miss the point of the education.

The forgetting isn't a bug in the system - it's a feature. We need to experience these lessons fully, without the safety net of knowing it's all temporary and meaningful. Otherwise, the growth wouldn't be real.

And here's the thing: the universe will still enroll you in courses until you actually learn the material.

I'm a big fan of Dante's Divine Comedy, and reading it through this lens made me wonder: maybe this plane IS "hell" - not as punishment, but as the place where souls come to learn, grow, and evolve. We're not here because we're bad; we're here because we're expanding. Sometimes it feels like suffering because growth is hard, but it's actually spiritual boot camp.

But before you get too excited about this spiritual perspective, let me be clear: believing in soul contracts is NOT an excuse to keep dating the same toxic archetype over and over or hurting others repeatedly.

The universe is like a loving mother holding a chancla 🩴. You can run as much as you want, but she's going to get you. The universe will keep sending you teachers until you decide to actually learn the lesson instead of just acknowledging that there IS a lesson.

The universe's progression:

• First toxic person: "Here's your lesson about boundaries"

• Second toxic person: "Um, did you miss that? Let me send another teacher"

• Third toxic person: "What part of this are you not understanding?!"

• Fourth toxic person: chancla flying through the air

Some people use spiritual concepts to avoid taking responsibility for their patterns. "Everything happens for a reason" becomes an excuse to not develop discernment, not learn boundaries, not do the actual work of healing.

The universe is loving, but it's not going to let you coast through the same spiritual grade forever.

The Cosmic Schedule vs. Earth Timeline

And here's where it gets even more interesting: it's not just WHO shows up in our lives that's perfectly orchestrated - it's WHEN they show up. If souls are making these contracts and casting decisions, they're obviously not operating on human schedules. Which got me thinking about timing itself.

We define everything in connection to sunrise and sunset, but think about astronauts (the real ones, not the billionaires playing space tourist). Once they're up there, is there a sunrise? A sunset? Nope. Just existence in the vastness, where time becomes something completely different.

Our ENTIRE understanding of 'too early,' 'too late,' is based on one planet's rotation on its axis around one star. But the universe operates on some cosmic rhythm we can't even perceive from our tiny rotating rock.

Maybe divine timing operates on the scale of soul evolution, karmic cycles, collective consciousness shifts - rhythms so vast that our Earth-based "this should happen now" complaints are like an ant being stressed that the seasons are changing too slowly.

Today, I understand something I couldn't see at 21: the life that felt like a detour was actually the main storyline. My son didn't interrupt my career plans - his soul specifically auditioned me for the role of his mother. I wasn't derailed from my path; I was headhunted by the universe for one of the most important roles in someone else's story.

Here's how I see it now: we decide the major lessons, do the casting, and set the key milestones before we incarnate. The rest? That's where free will takes over.

Imagine your soul's journey like planning a trip from London to Amsterdam. Before you incarnate, you've already decided: "I'm going to Amsterdam" (your soul's mission), "I need to learn patience along the way" (your lesson), and "I'll travel with this specific group of souls" (your cast of characters). But once you're actually in London with your ticket, HOW you get there becomes your choice.

Do you take the direct flight and arrive quickly? Drive through beautiful countryside and take your time? Hop on trains and meet interesting strangers? Maybe you decide to detour through Morocco because something calls to you there. You might even end up in South Africa somehow, thinking you've completely lost your way.

But here's the thing: there will always be a path back to Amsterdam.

That's Mother Chancla in action - she won't let you miss your soul's appointment, but she'll let you take the scenic route.

Your free will determines the adventure, the timing, the detours, the companions you pick up along the way. But that final destination? Your soul already bought the ticket.

The question isn't whether you'll reach Amsterdam - it's what kind of traveler you'll be on the journey.